When it comes to the best family therapy books, Shelley Behr has seen how effective these resources can be for divorcing couples and their children, who often find it hard to cope when families fracture.
As an experienced family therapist with a private practice in Vancouver, Canada, Behr suggests that families make some time during the early stages of divorce to read books that outline ways to communicate the news to kids and help them navigate the difficult days ahead.
In this stressful time, parents and children alike can use all the help they can get. A family therapist will be the locus of this help, but there are practical resources that can contribute to an amicable separation and creation of a post-divorce collaboration that is focused on the interests of children. Some of the best resources are books written by other respected professionals in the field.
Shelley Behr reviews a range of books for children that are meant to allay fears and help kids deal with the life-changing transition that divorce brings. The best books offer insight and guidance to adults, as well.
Although books are not a substitute for family therapy, they can set the stage for successful outcomes as separating couples work with their family counselor.
Shelley Behr suggests that every parent in a divorce should consider reading and sharing one of these recommended books, listed below:
Was It the Chocolate Pudding? A Story for Little Kids About Divorce by Sandra Levins. For preschool to 2nd grade. This story approaches the issue of guilt when a young boy worries that he caused the divorce by making a mess with his dessert. He learns it’s not his fault. In the end, the proof is in the pudding.
Divorce Happens To The Nicest Kids by Michael S. Prokop. For ages 3-15. The book addresses false beliefs in divorce situations. Features answers to questions most children of divorce have.
I Don’t Want To Talk About It!! by Jeanie Franz Ranson. For early elementary. The book describes how a little girl feels when she hears her parents will divorce. It addresses anger, fear and sadness with words and pictures of animals.
My Mom and Dad Don’t Live Together Anymore: A Drawing Book for Children of Separated or Divorced Parents by Judith A. Rubin. For elementary school-age kids. Features wide borders on the pages, with lots of room for the child to draw pictures and fill in the blanks with simple emotions. Ideal medium to discuss feelings and normalize child reactions.
Fred Stays with Me! by Nancy Coffelt. For preschool to 2nd grade. A young girl tells how she lives sometimes with her mother and sometimes with her father, but her dog is always her constant companion.
Help! A Girl’s Guide to Divorce and Step-families by Nancy Holyoke. For 8-year-old to teen girls. Dictionary format with interactive art. Part of the American Girl series of books.
It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce. by Vicki Lansky. For ages 3-7. A book for parents to read with their children during divorce. It includes a story, questions for kids, tips for parents about how to help children cope with divorce and recommendations for parenting apart. The book helps kids deal with changes in their lives, express their feelings, and understand that divorce is not their fault.
Let’s Talk: Early Separation and Divorce Activity Book by Jim and Joan Boulden. For ages 6-11. Workbook with places to draw pictures and write about feelings. Features a cognitive-behavioral approach.
Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce by Cornelia Maude Spelman. For younger children. Story is told from the perspective of Dinah Bear, who is sad about the parents’ divorce and has a common fear of losing the parent who is moving out. This story emphasizes the many things that will stay the same, and never change.
My Parents Are Divorced, Too: A Book for Kids by Kids by Melanie, Annie, and Steven Ford. For ages 10-16. Three children in a blended family talk about their experiences and those of friends with divorce and remarriage.
What Would You Do? A Child’s Book About Divorce by Barbara Cain and Elissa P. Benedek. For preschool to 2nd grade. Simple story with colorful illustrations that asks, “What would you do?” to create dialogue focused on the challenges of divorce. The book’s interactive approach is an ideal way to bring issues to the surface and effectively address them.
Through the Eyes of Children: Healing Stories for Children of Divorce by Janet R. Johnston, Karen Breunig, Carla Garrity, and Mitchell Baris. For ages 5-11. Most of these positive stories advance a message of healing and hope with the use of animal characters.
When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can Learn To Cope With Grief From Divorce by Marge Heegaard. For ages 6-12. A workbook with ample space for kids to draw. Simple, easy-to-understand messages for children.
When Mom and Dad Divorce: A Kid’s Resource by Emily Menendez-Aponte. For ages preschool-3rd grade. Addresses common worries when parents divorce, including wondering if it’s your fault and whether parents still love their children after a divorce.
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