I intended to introduce this post with a few melancholy words about how no one likes to talk about one part of business: closing one down. I’ve been struggling for weeks, really, with where my business was headed. This is due to encouraging happenings as well as discouraging—I just have more than I can handle in my work life right now. I feel like I can’t do what it takes, which kind of kills me because I’m starting to feel like I understand what it takes. I just didn’t feel like I could take a business I’d worked hard on for two years and call it quits, just when I was understanding how to maybe make it really profitable. And then one day I could do it. I wanted to do it, and I was excited to do it.
I have learned so much through starting my business, much of which I’ve talked about in other posts. Incredibly, this strange pursuit of sewing, which was not my favorite thing, has led me in a snowballing fashion towards writing, which is my favorite thing to do. SelkieMum has even prepared me for, I hope, a writing career: it has given me discipline, it has helped me understand how to sell myself, it has helped me to realize that I can’t refuse to work on pieces I don’t find glamorous, that I can’t be a perfectionist, that quantity matters. I think it has prepared me to truly work as a writer. I understand that I need to produce a certain amount in order to earn a certain amount.
It’s not so much that I am closing down as that I am being dealt the next hand, focusing on writing, custom orders, and wholesale. My previous practices were inefficient. Have you ever come into a dark room and fumbled around blindly for a switch? Naturally, you will flip the first one that you come to. With the light that provides, you may see that there is a more suitable light further on in the room; perhaps you have turned on the light in the front hall, and you need a reading lamp. It wasn’t a mistake to turn on the hall light; it was a necessary step in the process.
Rather than kill time regretting the time I “wasted” in the past, I plan to gratefully lay aside practices that were not ideal for attaining my goals, and be bold enough to make more “mistakes” as I find my way further into the yet unlit passage ahead of me.